UPDATE: Four Loko Banned in United States

The douche that banned Four Loko

Run to your nearby liquor store and stock up on the Lokos while you can because new reports seem to indicate that the FDA will be banning the caffeinated alcoholic beverage due to the dangers of drinking them.  It's sad that just yesterday I wrote a post about how it was only being banned in New York and how Minnesota was being spared...  

The culprit that is taking the Four Lokos out of our hands is US Senator Charles Schumer from New York.  According to his website, "U.S Senator Charles E. Schumer announced today that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) will rule that caffeine is an unsafe food additive to alcoholic beverages, effectively making products such as Four Loko, Joose, and others like them, prohibited for sale in the United States. Additionally, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) plans to notify manufacturers that they are engaged in the potential illegal marketing of unsafe alcoholic drinks."

Schumer later says, "Let these rulings serve as a warning to anyone who tried to peddle dangerous and toxic brews to our children. Do it and we will shut you down. This ruling should be the nail in the coffin of these dangerous and toxic drinks. Parents should be able to rest a little easier knowing that soon their children won’t have access to this deadly brew."

Am I gonna have to be the first one to say that this seems incredibly unfair?  Sure, some stupid kids got wasted off a Four Loko (or five) and were hospitalized.  How is that my fault or the faults of the other college students that can drink with some responsibility?

Schumer says that this will serve as a warning to people who try to sell drinks like this to "our children".  Senator Schumer, do you want to know what else these "children" are doing?  I bet you'd be surprised; a Four Loko should be the least of your worries...

I don't think it's fair to blame the object for an action that was caused by what the handler did with that object.  Guns don't kill people; people kill people.  Four Loko doesn't hurt people; stupid people hurt themselves.

If that's the route the United States government and the FDA is going, start banning McDonalds, Miller Brewery, and Buffalo Wild Wings.  I'm sure that the fat and grease of a Big Mac (even though it's so good) has hospitalized more people than Four Loko.  Or, ban chicken wings because of the people that choke on the bones and die.  Or better yet, get rid of all the alcohol.  85,000 people die by overdosing on alcohol every year; Four Loko has killed one (and it was due to a diet pill the girl took earlier which stated she shouldn't drink caffeine or alcohol while taking).

But, there's not much we can do anymore.  Go out and buy the last of the Four Lokos you can and have a blast.  What do you do once your out?  How will you ever get your caffeine and alcohol fix together again?  Simple.  Go back to the basics... Jagerbombs!